I want to share my story of how I came to the decision to serve and how this Gospel has and continues to bless my life! I had just graduated high school and registered for classes at Mesa Community College. I was excited to finally be an adult, doing adult things! I was eager to get my schooling started, get a job, and meet new people. I still lived at home, which is not ideal for the typical college student. I still did not have that complete feeling of freedom that I had wanted for so long. Living at home means living with your parents. And as much as I love and appreciate them, I wanted to be "free". My well-meaning mother got in this habit of stealthily sliding the idea of a mission into EVERY conversation we had. It came up in family dinners, five-minute car rides, even to strangers on the street. She wanted it for me so badly, and I honestly had no idea why if I didn't even want it for myself. I ignored her comments for months and months until I finally realized I had never even asked my Heavenly Father if this would be best for me. I had decided for myself, by myself, that a mission was not for me. I was scared to ask because I was scared of the answer.
And so the process began. I prayed more often and more sincerely than I ever had before. I spent Friday nights staring at the temple just asking for guidance and listening for some huge storm or booming voice. I listened more fervently to every church speaker, conference talk, and returned missionary I could to try and hear my answer. But nothing came. I was frustrated. I was bitter. And it was then I learned that Heavenly Father has the most perfect timing. As I sat in church one day, a speaker got up and was talking about a subject that was irrelevant to missionary work. It was right then I had the most distinct feeling that I was to serve a mission. Tears streamed down my face as I pictured myself wearing a black name tag, sharing the message of our Savior, Jesus Christ.
This moment happened about eight months ago. When I received my mission call to the Washington, DC North mission, my heart was finally at peace! Not because I wasn't scared anymore (because I was terrified), but because I knew Heavenly Father had helped get me there and would continue to guide me. I know now that all my weaknesses can be made strong. All that I am lacking, my Savior can and will make up for if I ask. I have now been a full time missionary for a month and a half and am grateful for that every moment of every day!
I am here because I want to be a part of this army. I want to share the happiness I have felt through the Gospel. I know with all of my heart that nothing is as powerful as the Gospel of Jesus Christ. Through Him every aching heart can feel peace, every wandering soul can find direction, and every lingering regret can be silenced.
"My plea is that we stop seeking out the storms and enjoy more fully the sunlight. I am suggesting that as we go through life, we accentuate the positive..." -President Gordon B. Hinckley
I love being a missionary. It's been a long rode getting here and every day presents new struggles and challenges. But I have quickly come to realize that with great struggle comes great strength. Big trials leads to even bigger triumphs. Turn to your Heavenly Father in prayer every day and you WILL feel of His love! It isn't earned or gained, but given to each and everyone of us!
